Cult of the Pynk Flamyngo

Some buns ago an associate mentioned she was on her way to the garden and nursery store.That her mother had need of a shrub, to be planted in front of her house, placed just so, to hide some unsightly garden hose from the view from the street.

I had no take in the matter personally. But a few days later, in the middle of the nightness, I was awakened by a vision. And in this vision I saw the entire parking lot covered with a flock of Pynk Flamyngos, each Pynk Flamyngo having a short piece of garden hose between its beaknesses.

Immediately, the pynkness of the vision was revealed to me. That wherever in the world is a garden hose there is a Pynk Flamyngo watching over it (although they do tend to chew the poor hose into pieces). And this is when I reached the glorious State of Pynknification.

I now beseech any and all who will observe to experience their own personal Pynknoid Conversion.

So let us pray,

“O Great Pynk Flamyngo,
We acknowledge that we have been hosed.

We now dedicate our lives to the pynknification of all the looney liberals and of all the crazy conservatives all over the world who do not yet confess to thy pynkxistence.

And to the saving of the multiverse climate, that hose without end, unraveling through space at full pynkness speed toward that great pynk hole, never to have pynkxisted anyway.

Proudly we wear our piece of chewed up garden hose around our necks so as to identify with thy Great Pynkness, and so protect ourselves in the nightness from the wanderings of the non-pynknessers.

In the Name of the Great, Greater and Greatest Pynk Flamyngo Over All,
we pray,

Aflam”.

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